• it VO
  • fr Français
  • en English
  • ar العربية
About us
  • In-depth
    • All
    • Features
    • Files
    • World
    From Kasbah to TAMAM: Tracing the depiction of Muslim women in Greek popular culture

    From Kasbah to TAMAM: Tracing the depiction of Muslim women in Greek popular culture

    A green renaissance in the heart of concrete

    A green renaissance in the heart of concrete

    Marseille: March 8 can only be intersectional

    Marseille: March 8 can only be intersectional

    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    Ecofeminism faced with its contradictions: Who pays the price of ecological transition?

    Ecofeminism faced with its contradictions: Who pays the price of ecological transition?

    Trending Tags

    • Ecofeminism
    • Women living from and on the streets
    • Women and bodies
    • Women and sports
    • Women and cinema
    • Ramadan series
    • Women and war
    • Women Living at the Margins
    • Press Freedom from the Perspective of Women Journalists
    • Period poverty
    • Gynecological violence
    • Women and prison
    • Safe spaces
    • Abortion and SRHR
    • Transgenderism
    • Women in rural areas
  • On the move
    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    A history of ecofeminism: At the origin were the witches

    A history of ecofeminism: At the origin were the witches

    Ecofeminism, an alternative to reenchant the world?

    Ecofeminism, an alternative to reenchant the world?

    Nabila Hamza: “The Tunisian feminist movement is not a long, quiet river!”

    Nabila Hamza: “The Tunisian feminist movement is not a long, quiet river!”

  • Portraits
    Kurdish journalist killed in Turkish drone strike in northeastern Syria

    Kurdish journalist killed in Turkish drone strike in northeastern Syria

    A Filmmaker’s Journey: Inside the Creative World of Margarita Bareikyte

    A Filmmaker’s Journey: Inside the Creative World of Margarita Bareikyte

    An interview with Tesh Sidi: Migrants in Parliament and inclusion by identity

    An interview with Tesh Sidi: Migrants in Parliament and inclusion by identity

    Interview with queer activist Marianne Chbat: “Our presence in academic settings is a militant act”

  • Creations
    • All
    • Reviews
    • Visual Arts
    All We Imagine as Light : three intertwined female stories

    All We Imagine as Light : three intertwined female stories

    Three Feminist Podcasts from the Southern Mediterranean

    Three Feminist Podcasts from the Southern Mediterranean

    Fotonica’s stereotype-free images

    Fotonica’s stereotype-free images

    Emna Mrabet: “New Tunisian female directors represent women as fighters”

    Emna Mrabet: “New Tunisian female directors represent women as fighters”

  • Opinion
    Goodbye Fatima, reporter of the ongoing Genocide in Gaza

    Goodbye Fatima, reporter of the ongoing Genocide in Gaza

    Fatima Hassouna’s “Loud Death”

    Fatima Hassouna’s “Loud Death”

    We owe it to Fatima

    We owe it to Fatima

    A tribute to Fatima Hassouna

    A tribute to Fatima Hassouna

  • Multimedia
    "I hope it doesn’t go viral: Journalism and sexist attacks in digital age". A video investigation by Çiçek Tahaoğlu

    "I hope it doesn’t go viral: Journalism and sexist attacks in digital age". A video investigation by Çiçek Tahaoğlu

    Period poverty in Montenegro

    Period poverty in Montenegro

    Period poverty in France (1)

    Period poverty in France (1)

    Period Poverty in Italy

    Period Poverty in Italy

  • Country context
No Result
View All Result
BLOGS
Medfeminiswiya
  • In-depth
    • All
    • Features
    • Files
    • World
    From Kasbah to TAMAM: Tracing the depiction of Muslim women in Greek popular culture

    From Kasbah to TAMAM: Tracing the depiction of Muslim women in Greek popular culture

    A green renaissance in the heart of concrete

    A green renaissance in the heart of concrete

    Marseille: March 8 can only be intersectional

    Marseille: March 8 can only be intersectional

    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    Ecofeminism faced with its contradictions: Who pays the price of ecological transition?

    Ecofeminism faced with its contradictions: Who pays the price of ecological transition?

    Trending Tags

    • Ecofeminism
    • Women living from and on the streets
    • Women and bodies
    • Women and sports
    • Women and cinema
    • Ramadan series
    • Women and war
    • Women Living at the Margins
    • Press Freedom from the Perspective of Women Journalists
    • Period poverty
    • Gynecological violence
    • Women and prison
    • Safe spaces
    • Abortion and SRHR
    • Transgenderism
    • Women in rural areas
  • On the move
    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    Sarah Ragab’s Egyptian innovation: Converting plastic into sustainable asphalt

    A history of ecofeminism: At the origin were the witches

    A history of ecofeminism: At the origin were the witches

    Ecofeminism, an alternative to reenchant the world?

    Ecofeminism, an alternative to reenchant the world?

    Nabila Hamza: “The Tunisian feminist movement is not a long, quiet river!”

    Nabila Hamza: “The Tunisian feminist movement is not a long, quiet river!”

  • Portraits
    Kurdish journalist killed in Turkish drone strike in northeastern Syria

    Kurdish journalist killed in Turkish drone strike in northeastern Syria

    A Filmmaker’s Journey: Inside the Creative World of Margarita Bareikyte

    A Filmmaker’s Journey: Inside the Creative World of Margarita Bareikyte

    An interview with Tesh Sidi: Migrants in Parliament and inclusion by identity

    An interview with Tesh Sidi: Migrants in Parliament and inclusion by identity

    Interview with queer activist Marianne Chbat: “Our presence in academic settings is a militant act”

  • Creations
    • All
    • Reviews
    • Visual Arts
    All We Imagine as Light : three intertwined female stories

    All We Imagine as Light : three intertwined female stories

    Three Feminist Podcasts from the Southern Mediterranean

    Three Feminist Podcasts from the Southern Mediterranean

    Fotonica’s stereotype-free images

    Fotonica’s stereotype-free images

    Emna Mrabet: “New Tunisian female directors represent women as fighters”

    Emna Mrabet: “New Tunisian female directors represent women as fighters”

  • Opinion
    Goodbye Fatima, reporter of the ongoing Genocide in Gaza

    Goodbye Fatima, reporter of the ongoing Genocide in Gaza

    Fatima Hassouna’s “Loud Death”

    Fatima Hassouna’s “Loud Death”

    We owe it to Fatima

    We owe it to Fatima

    A tribute to Fatima Hassouna

    A tribute to Fatima Hassouna

  • Multimedia
    "I hope it doesn’t go viral: Journalism and sexist attacks in digital age". A video investigation by Çiçek Tahaoğlu

    "I hope it doesn’t go viral: Journalism and sexist attacks in digital age". A video investigation by Çiçek Tahaoğlu

    Period poverty in Montenegro

    Period poverty in Montenegro

    Period poverty in France (1)

    Period poverty in France (1)

    Period Poverty in Italy

    Period Poverty in Italy

  • Country context
About us
Medfeminiswiya
About us

Thirty and single... so what?

No matter how old you are and how far you get in life, you are forced to repeat time and again that being single in your 30s or 40s is not a shortfall or a weakness. It does not mean that no one chose you. It simply means that you are the captain of your own ship…

Pascale Sawma by Pascale Sawma
1 March 2022
in Blogs
50 3
0
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

This post is also available in: Français (French) العربية (Arabic)

By Pascale Sawma - Lebanese journalist and author

You will always meet people who make you feel “deficient” and remind you that you are not enough. Not enough to be someone’s choice, not enough for them to keep you in their home, like a velvet sofa sitting in the middle of a living room, or an art piece in a display cabinet, collecting dust or eaten by boredom and loneliness. Even art needs to be acknowledged sometimes and reminded of how valuable and special it is.

You will always meet people who think you are even lesser than a velvet sofa or an ornamental art piece, great for showing off in front of friends. Not one day will pass without someone telling you that it is your fault and that you need to do something about it. Maybe get a haircut or stop going dancing on weekends. Wear a tight dress or cover yourself up. Meet new people. Or quit talking about freedoms and rights! Don’t be too educated. What good does it do a man to marry an educated woman? She might not even know how to do the dishes or raise children. Stop buying books. To many men, books are the greatest enemy.

It is hard to grasp that you have ambition. How would you explain that you would like to be more than just another disposable item in someone’s house? Something that goes out of fashion and is immediately thrown out. It is a daily struggle proving that you are not just another fine home display of a private art collection. You will jump through hoops trying to explain that this is your decision, and only yours. And no, you are not waiting for a marriage that fits in a box. No matter how old you are and how far you get in life, you are forced to repeat time and again that being single in your 30s or 40s is not a shortfall or a weakness. It does not mean that no one chose you. It simply means that you are the captain of your own ship. You are the one who is not quite sold on anyone yet or does not really believe in the idea of marriage in the first place.

This is the typical conversation to have with a single woman in her thirties. You can see her struggling to untangle her words and express what she truly feels. As if it were a public right for anyone to question a woman on why she is still single after turning 30 and pass judgment over her private life.

Was Dalida “deficient” whenever she was up on stage, breathing life into people across generations? Was she “incomplete” when she sang her heart out in Pour ne pas vivre seul (To Not Live Alone) based on her emotional and marital setbacks? The exceptional Oprah Winfrey – who over the time hosted a great number of prominent figures and changed how we think about life, women, and the media - was never married either. Does this make her deficient despite her high-intellect and her gorgeous laugh? Is she deemed incomplete because a man did not keep her in his house? Does Sheryl Crow, the great American singer and actress, have to live with the idea that all of her life achievements are not that important because she is over 60 and still single? Was Jacqueline Bisset, one of the most beautiful movie actresses in the world, not pretty enough to attract a typical tribal man?

Was Dalida “deficient” whenever she was up on stage, breathing life into people across generations? Was she “incomplete” when she sang her heart out in Pour ne pas vivre seul?

Ironically, women are suddenly no longer incomplete when they come from a foreign country and live on the other side of the world. Their freedom is wonderful, but not an example to follow. The free women of the western world have the right to choose, including their love life and sexuality. But in our societies, this is when they blow the whistle.

Women are given the rights that benefit society but are denied the ones that threaten the status quo. In other words, some regimes and societies realized that the education and employment of women have a great economic value. Girls were allowed to go to school and women into the workplace. However, they need not go too far. Men kept earning more money than women and filling more management positions. Society clearly wanted to keep women at bay and stop them from thinking that they could ever achieve gender equality. As the poet al-Farazdaq said: “Slaughter the chickens that dare to crow like roosters”. And roosters believe that unless they crow, the sun does not come up in the morning…

Patriarchal societies found that by accepting women’s total freedom to get married and have children – or not – they lose absolute control over them. A woman is constantly pressured to find a husband who will keep her from scandal, offer her a home and protect her, as if she were an easy prey who always needs a bodyguard or a ‘good’ mafia man at her side. A hero, who will suffocate her eventually all for the sake of protecting her from the bad guys, or in other words, other men like him; for that good mafia man can be the same bad guy in someone else’s story…

Pascale Sawma

Pascale Sawma

Pascale Sawma is a Lebanese journalist, author and novelist, with over 10 years of experience working in the media field as a producer, script writer, journalist, presenter and editor. She holds a BA in media studies and another one in Arabic literature. She is currently the senior editor at Daraj media, a reporter for Radio Rozana and a freelance contributor with several platforms and organizations, including Canal France International.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

J'accepte les termes et conditions et la Politique de confidentialité .

Medfeminiswiya

Medfeminiswiya is a feminist network that brings together women journalists working in the fields of media and content production in the Mediterranean region.

Newsletter


    Follow us

    Browse topics


    • In-depth
    • Files
    • Features
    • On the move
    • Portraits
    • Opinion

    • Creations
    • Visual Arts
    • Reviews
    • Multimedia
    • Country Context
    • Blogs
    • About us
    • Our community
    • Our partners
    • Become a member
    • Editorial charter
    • Disclaimer

    © 2023 Medfeminiswiya - Mediterranean Network for Feminist Information

    • it VO
    • fr Français
    • en English
    • ar العربية
    • In-depth
    • On the move
    • Portraits
    • Creations
    • Opinion
    • Multimedia
    • Country context
    • Blogs
    No Result
    View All Result

    © 2023 Medfeminiswiya - Mediterranean Network for Feminist Information

    Welcome Back!

    Login to your account below

    Forgotten Password?

    Retrieve your password

    Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

    Log In

    Add New Playlist

    Ce site n'utilise pas de cookies. This website does not use cookies. هذا الموقع لا يستخدم ملفات تعريف الارتباط.